K.I.T.

My dear friend Abby says I must enjoy. Cease the thinking, and just have fun. Knowing my tendency to over analyze or assume things, she's prob'ly right. It's best I sit back and enjoy the ride. People can really drive themselves mad with bizarre ideas that may seem innocuous at the beginning. Until you toil with the very same idea for weeks or months without realizing there is no hint of truth to it. A hallucination in your mind. A movie you produced and directed. And only you get to watch.

Pathetic. I feel like I must be struck with lightning for wanting more things when I already have been blessed with enough. I feel like I always pretend I have a pseudo hard life worth balling my eyes on when infact, there is nothing more I desire. Whatever will be, will be. I have more than enough. Be still.

Over the phone, I couldn't help feeling so happy talking to my dear friend Vanny a few hours after touchdown. God it feels good to be back. I was greeted with the singing band everyone seems to just pass on by at the airport. For a moment I wondered if i should stop and give them a round of applause for always being freakin' there for every traveller setting foot in our country. I mean, imagine if they weren't? Won't we wonder??? We take so many things for granted literally. It's sad. Like people who are always there for us... My driver, M'g Danny has been my driver since highschool. He picked me up at the airport with my folks the other day. And boy, was he just as happy to see me. I remembered how he followed me around in college like a precious bodyguard despite being so stocky and short. All my friends loved him. He served me out of care. I remembered how he pointed out to me once how he didn't like a suitor of mine without me asking him. Like his opinion mattered. But it did. I just CAN'T STAND people who are so bad with help. It's criminal.

Anyway, the weather here is...ok. I'd bargain for a little more "coolness" but I fear God would reprimand me with a storm. So I'll take what is given...with a smile. there are so many things I want to do. I don't know where to start. Be still, my heart. Be still.

I am home far away from home. I wonder what the weather is like in NY? It was raining when I left. They said by the weekend it would be nice. Hmmmmm...walking by Washington Square...frozen margaritas in the afternoon...window shopping in Soho with friends...looking for a good read at Barnes...dressing up and toning it down by the night. Hay naku!

I'm off to have a late lunch with friends...with a meal that will prob'ly cost me 8 bucks for whatever is most expensive on the menu. Catching up on old times...being a godmother to their child...spending some quality afternoon without a deadline.

Not bad...not bad at all.

Bumping into a familliar face I've been dying to see would be cherry on top.

But what are the odds? 10,000 to 1 perhaps.

Movie...it's all just a movie.
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MOOD CHANGE!

If you have issues re people who will suddenly bash about things online then I suggest you don't read this. The difference between your regular blogger and I who's about to trash known individuals is that you perfectly know who I am. I think it's so totally beneath common decency when other anonymous bloggers mention other individuals online for the whole world to read and attack them. Loser, introduce yourself. There is no purpose of writing hate blogs if you'll cower away like a rat about to die. A friend just forwarded an email to me about this ANONYMOUS blogger who started shitting about other people's business. Unfortunately, this blogger commented about someone I know who's the epitome of pure kindness. Well, with the amount of shit she said about this person, I needed to strike back. And yes, quote me.

Since I don't know who the writer is, it's really hard for me to cuss. And I don't really give a damn if anyone who's about to read this will comment back heatedly. As long as you TELL US WHO YOU ARE. Guts, baby. Guts. You have the guts to stab, then have the guts to show face. Unless youre chicken shit, then , it's understandable. First of all, I understand completely how strangers want to piss on beautiful people. Envy, after all, is one deadly sin. But man, grow up. I've lived it. That scene when half of the people in the room gives you that fake smile but secretly wants you to stumble in your perfect black dress? Very common. Which is why I value my dear friends so passionately. I know who I can trust. However, when someone exceptionally gorgeous who happens to be so generous and willing to help people becomes say captivating to the world, don't pull her down. Let her do her generous bidding. Why suck her with your crablike will? Why make her hate the world?

It's been not even a day since I got here and here I am. Shaking my head like a madwoman. Will this STATUS sphere change in our kingdom? Awhile ago, I was on line trying to buy myself coffee while all of my friends seated themselves at a table about 20 feet away. This person infront of me was looking fr head to toe showing off her pink razor phone and her LV bag to my face. Get real. Honey, the razor is sooo last year. Now, i'm usually good walking away fr this stuff..(hmmm most of the time), but shit I hate cellphones. Ive outgrown the desire to own the latest gadget. And until my phone dies, its the ONLY time ill get myself a new one. We've been there! I went to a university who started TEXT messaging. Back when the banana phone fr the very first matrix was invented! We've fought hand and nail for the most chic and slim. But darn, the entire Manila population has become one big university of show offs. Do not parade those monogram or any letter handbag to my face. That is the tackiest. Get the leather Balenciaga or any plane jane looking no letter L, V, G, C, D pocketbook. Please..please..please. If only we realize that we cannot buy class with money.

My collegue once said to me how having less makes you more humble as I was complaining how broke I was over the weekend. She was right. I guess sometimess, it takes one to become penniless to know humility. How many times have friends fr back home checked out what freakin' car I was driving in the City? Numerous. I bought my first car when i was 22. I am driving a now 4 year old CIVIC. That I PAID FOR..with my OWN MONEY and with my own credit history. And yes, i have folks who will dutifully spot me with anything I desire. Anything. But it's not mine now, is it? And what's not yours must always be returned.

So for you hand me down rolex wearing, self absorbed, never have to pay for anything substantial in your life maderpakers, get lost. Don't try to impress with the quality of what you own, but the quality of who you are. And don't, pls don't, guys who try to come on to a woman with their last name expecting to get some recognition. Geez! Who would want to be associated with anyone in our government?! Embarassing. And no, having 20 bodyguards follow you around does not make you a man. It makes you a wuss! Why??? can;t you fight your own battles?

Maybe i'm being overly dramatic. Maybe I should just try to play it cool. I get that a lot, you know.

But I care. I do.

I shouldn't really. But Alas, i do.