Countdown to Freedom land

So...I have 14 days left to make precious love with the City that has never abandoned me. 14 too little. My affair started about half a decade ago. I was 22---hopeful, idealistic, innocent, carefree. But like a brand new car that wears out after years of living the same kind of troubling life, you lose your drive....your dreams...your visions...your life. As Daniel Powter says, "Where is the passion when you need it the most?". It's just one bad day from another. Sometimes worse, but never better.

It was this City that saved me and every Pinoy waiting in line for that blue passport or "green" status. It's just absolutely amazing to live here...from season to season, moment to moment, place to place. And what's even more grand about it are the FRIENDS you share it with, the people you spend time with, the strangers you've become friends with. Shout out to my PINOYorkers yahoogroup! hahaha Thanks for always being there! For our laugh trips to heaven down to hell! Just freakishly insane!!!

Anyway, so i'm going back to the islands to revisit my past. Perhaps take care of some unfinished business. Staying there for 2 weeks last time was just an absolute breeze, I didn't really have time to smell the flowers. But I had a blast seeing old friends, shopping, and catching up on every missing hole imaginable. Must I say, Manila has gotten so clean! And the young boys-- so hot! I mean, you can't even tell that these mega packed hunks are just 20! What happened to the boys during MY generation?! Why couldn't they look like THAT?! hahaha kidding, I was never really into buffness. Like wealth, looks does not impress me.

But I will definitely miss NYC. My home. My love. I know Gretch you've been telling me that it's only for less than 3 months, but it's still kinda scary. I mean, I stayed in Frisco for three weeks and I was itching to go back home. And I love that place! Miyuks, it would have been better to go back and sketch a whole new world with you. How will I ever survive without you at my side??? And my dear Abby, I'm sure if we travelled together, I would meet a whole team of your men friends. DO NOT set me up with anyone! Girl, you just don't give up!=) Anths and Sarah, who's going to tell me what to and not to wear when I go out? You guys have been my DEVIL wears Prada. Only Sarah, you are certainly more of my halo than my horns. GILLY!!! Who's going to take care of me now when I'm wasted? Who's going to be my prop when unwanted individuals are lurking around? You better make sure you find a decent girl the entire group approves of OR you will never hear the end of it.

So there it goes, my personal goodbyes to the people who have made my City a much homier place to live in. I'm taking a stall on the snowboarding trips, the cruise, the sleepovers, the dinner, the soccer games, the squash and tennis plans that never came to be, the kayaking, river rafting, the coffee conversations, the wine tasting, the SOHO shopping, broadway, theater, concerts, vintage boutiques, saigon grill, soup dumplings, dessert, and ice cream...The boomerang laughter, the tears, the intense talk down memory lane.

God. If I go on, I would never get to leave.

But it's a whole new ball game. A whole new world... in my once upon a time comfort world. I've been around the world and back. I know somewhere...somehow I missed a spot. The "shaddiest" spot of all.

I need to turn my gray area into an ocean blue. I fled during turbulent times and chickened out. Now, I'm ready to go back.

See, 'been missing the plane a lot. Never finished the packing. Never got there on time.

But I've left all my baggages behind.
I realized I only need ME to board.

On my own terms....at my own pace...on my own moment.
I like that. My own.