Queen of Disgrace

I AM afterall, the biggest KLUTZ in the world! No, I don't need anyone to remind me. I can tell you, everything embarassing you can ever think of--- has, and if not, will happen to ME. I'm not usually distorted. It's just that, when I am caught off-handed, I really make the worst scene. Believe me!!! Perhaps because my mind is just discombobulated with personal issues, the heat, work, or just plain boredom, I really can get myself into a whole new dimension of obliviousness. That or its just the New Yorker attitude of I don't give a damn or get out of my way!

Today, I elevated my dorkiness to the highest power when I attended the first day of summer class. My prof was in the process of introducing himself to the rest of us and I was able to write his name down. Someone next to me suddenly leaned over and asked, "What's the name?"...I looked up and saw one of the most gorgeous guys I have ever seen up close and responded to him with MY name. Shit! Ofcourse he tried making me feel better by saying it was nice to meet me but he explained he really was interested to know what our teacher's name was...Could I have been more shamed???! I have been in this situation so many times you'd think i would be used to it. But no...every shameful moment just gets more shameful every single time! A week ago, I remembered leaving my car unlocked in the garage as I was getting ready for bed. So I put on my most comfortable orange robe, spongebob fuzzy sleepers, dorkiest eyeglasses and went straight to my car just to lock it. In the elevator on the way back to my pad, two people shouted to hold the elevator. I didn't! i wouldn't be caught dead wearing what I was wearing! Unfortunately, they caught it just in time to share my supposedly personal ride back upstairs! Unbearable! Two cute guys living in my same building and of all the days to get stuck with them, God chose tonight! To make it worse, our ride stopped on one floor and refused to move. So they had to get out and switch elevators while I was soooo content to stay inside the non-working one till they left. It didn't happen. They waited and asked if I was coming and i was forced to share another unbearable ride with them....How unspeakable! My friends, my dear friends who are supposed to make me feel better when I shared them my stories chose to laugh their socks off instead of making me feel better. I know I said i don't care much about appearance. But there is a big difference between not caring about how you look to LOSING your DIGNITY! And I have successfully done just that!!!

Breaking stuff, slipping, having your phone ring in inappropriate places, getting hollered at by teenagers, banging into a post, calling the wrong person, sending text messages precisely to people who are not supposed to get them...etc...I've done it all! If there was a wanted list of dorks in the universe I will be in it. Fine! But before you place your bets as to who's going to fall in the man hole next, all I have to say is this...thank God for people like me! hahaha Man, i may be messed up at times but i sure don't make the world a boring place. Imagine if everyone else was so perfect..so prim..so proper? Imagine if no one ever said the wrong word or do the weirdest of things? Imagine if everone did just what their expected to do without trying to experience new things? If that's how the world is, then I'm sure glad to be different. I may be a klutz, but I do have some good moments. Infact, it's my klutziness that gets me noticed.

Don't be afraid to err. It's what makes us human.