For a moment, I was fully uncertain if I was to feel amused or offended when my good friend, Colette, screamed at me incredulously after she heard me answer her question. No, we weren't having our usual bickering and fun arguments. She was just mighty shocked with my answer. Well, for a second she was until she proceeded on to inform me that I should really try to get a life and do all the things I am mostly afraid of. That, or she says I should try getting laid.
Very funny! Sometimes I just have to remember how the hell we became friends despite the extreme difference in our characters. But perhaps, because of all that we have been through, she really was AFTER ALL, a dear friend who KNEW me to the core even without me telling her. My friend grew up in London, is far from conservative, gorgeous, and extremely kind. I was raised by strict Catholic parents, soulful, independent, and extremely faithful. What is surprising is how people mistake us for having opposite characters. Her being shy and quiet, myself being gutsy and clueless. The total chaos we concoct is far from imaginable. I myself find MYSELF going mental.
I am a fake ass BAD girl. She knows. I can talk the talk, look the walk, but NEVER walk the walk. Yet, it's how I have always been perceived. Fortunately, age has slowly worn off the image. I remember spending some time in California and people from a different realm were talking down on me like I was some kind of a "lost" cause. I took the beating...But not the teaching.
Do no tell me what to do in moments of great decisions. Judge if you must, but never be self-righteous. It is the trademark of the gods who are obsessed with goodness but know no weakness. Please...there may always be a mouthful to say to someone, but we live by example not by principle.
To behave accordingly in an environment where everyone is expected to behave is irrelevant. Like a school, every student is forced to follow certain rules to be able to graduate, to excel, to get good grades. In a community of believers, every follower is expected to be meek and mild or (you may argue with me on this, but I still insist) be gossiped about by the appointed leaders of the flock. To behave accordingly in an environment where everyone is NOT expected to always do the right thing is what's relevant. It is what you CHOOSE to do in the real world that matters! It is what you choose to say when no one is listening...what you choose to give when no one is watching...what you choose to love when no one is capable of loving. ONLY then do you get to decide. ONLY then do you get to JUDGE.
In the meantime, give every bad boy/bad girl a break. There is a rebellious cause behind the disguise.
That or they just look it.
May 20, 2006
May 18, 2006
May 13, 2006
the LAD that he was
When you're never in doubt about a theory, you become complacent..smug even...cocky to a certain extent. And you live your life thinking you are never wrong about "this" judgment simply because you THINK you know it for a fact. Well, let me just say, there are certain moments(like now) that I am very glad to be proven wrong about a theory of mine. Actually, the truth of the matter is, it feels great to be proven wrong on a subject matter where you've always wanted to be wrong about. It simply means there is a beleaguering POSSIBILITY to a seemingly hopeless case.
There are certain things in life that we may not necessarily be AGAINST with, but neither are we FOR it. Say, long distance relationships...the death penalty...illegal immigrants...younger men. When it comes to dating, I have always been one of those who's so keen on the age issue. FYI, I don't date younger men. While I know this statement will get me shot and killed by a lot of older women including Demi, I have to say, I have my own reasons for saying this. But jeez, spare me the all-righteous explanation of "maturity and sophistication doesn't come with age". If there is a naked pin-up on that bedroom wall, then he hasn't hit the real thing!
But then again, I could be wrong. Or should I say, I am wrong. For there are those who are barely legal yet can rise above the nonsense. Almost 2 years ago, I met someone in the weirdest situation. I was traveling with my dad to an unknown state...and being forced to go despite all my objections brought me to a new height of bitchiness. We were picked up fr the airport by his doctor friend and his son, who I immediately summed as fresh out of college. He was a few years younger than me, and a lot younger than all of the guys I have ever gone out with. BUT when it comes to class and humility, he could give ALL the older men I have been with a run for their money. He was intelligent, well-informed, and honest. Traits that are almost always lacking. He talked about religion, places he's been to while backpacking with his friends in Europe, books he's read, the music he listens to, the things he was most passionate about. Yes he was a younger man, I told myself. But he was definitely of a different breed.
I thought he was the last of his kind. Thank goodness I am wrong again. Sometime ago, I unexpectedly bumped into another younger man who I became taken too. He caught my interest not so much because of appearance, but because of his demeanor. I could tell he was younger. But I had to give it to him with his presence. He had such a command. The weird thing is, I knew he probably didn't know how much of it he had. Yeah... he most prob'ly have used his charms to woe all the giggly young girls at some points in his life...for he did have the makings of a player. But it was the good nature that was so evident in his character that blew me away. I must say, lucky is the girl who will end up with this lad.
The real deal is...it's really...most probably...not simply...about age. It is the man that they were born to be. It is the man that they are. The man that they have chosen to be. Whether they're 40...or closing in to 23. I just hope and pray that my younger sibling would find such character in a man. Right now i feel like I do not need to worry.
They exist. A few good men.
A few good YOUNGER men...
There are certain things in life that we may not necessarily be AGAINST with, but neither are we FOR it. Say, long distance relationships...the death penalty...illegal immigrants...younger men. When it comes to dating, I have always been one of those who's so keen on the age issue. FYI, I don't date younger men. While I know this statement will get me shot and killed by a lot of older women including Demi, I have to say, I have my own reasons for saying this. But jeez, spare me the all-righteous explanation of "maturity and sophistication doesn't come with age". If there is a naked pin-up on that bedroom wall, then he hasn't hit the real thing!
But then again, I could be wrong. Or should I say, I am wrong. For there are those who are barely legal yet can rise above the nonsense. Almost 2 years ago, I met someone in the weirdest situation. I was traveling with my dad to an unknown state...and being forced to go despite all my objections brought me to a new height of bitchiness. We were picked up fr the airport by his doctor friend and his son, who I immediately summed as fresh out of college. He was a few years younger than me, and a lot younger than all of the guys I have ever gone out with. BUT when it comes to class and humility, he could give ALL the older men I have been with a run for their money. He was intelligent, well-informed, and honest. Traits that are almost always lacking. He talked about religion, places he's been to while backpacking with his friends in Europe, books he's read, the music he listens to, the things he was most passionate about. Yes he was a younger man, I told myself. But he was definitely of a different breed.
I thought he was the last of his kind. Thank goodness I am wrong again. Sometime ago, I unexpectedly bumped into another younger man who I became taken too. He caught my interest not so much because of appearance, but because of his demeanor. I could tell he was younger. But I had to give it to him with his presence. He had such a command. The weird thing is, I knew he probably didn't know how much of it he had. Yeah... he most prob'ly have used his charms to woe all the giggly young girls at some points in his life...for he did have the makings of a player. But it was the good nature that was so evident in his character that blew me away. I must say, lucky is the girl who will end up with this lad.
The real deal is...it's really...most probably...not simply...about age. It is the man that they were born to be. It is the man that they are. The man that they have chosen to be. Whether they're 40...or closing in to 23. I just hope and pray that my younger sibling would find such character in a man. Right now i feel like I do not need to worry.
They exist. A few good men.
A few good YOUNGER men...
May 6, 2006
Ahhhh Manila....Manila....Manila
I have been asked countless of times since my return if I am finally packing my bags and moving back to the land that raised me after half a decade of hiatus. Yes, half a decade. I was 21 when I moved out of my motherland to seek not so much greener or better pastures...but I was out and about to seek the world. Boy, did I SEE the world! And to the generation after me, I urge you to do the same. Do not be so caught up in your own inner circle. There is so much to see...so much to learn...so much to love. And I have to say, 'twas only when I was out of my comfort zone that I realized...I don't always need comfort to survive.
But being back in the most comfortable place in the planet, (and I say "comfortable" not just bec of our compassionate helpers, drivers, manangs, and manongs) I realized how much of it I have missed and how much of it I truly adored. Manila is no New York City. But to some of us who will always be in the shadows of the star-spangled dream, it will always be...HOME.
Bora with my loved ones
But being back in the most comfortable place in the planet, (and I say "comfortable" not just bec of our compassionate helpers, drivers, manangs, and manongs) I realized how much of it I have missed and how much of it I truly adored. Manila is no New York City. But to some of us who will always be in the shadows of the star-spangled dream, it will always be...HOME.
Bora with my loved ones
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